Some people have too much time on their hands…

But it’s enjoyable to say the least!

If  Satan had facebook…

http://www.pcworld.com/zoom?id=162166&page=1&zoomIdx=5

Ironically my back hurts like crazy from my massage last night…

Whether it’s a big step or a small step, it’s still a step forward…

                                                                      

President Obama recently nominated Sonia Sotomayor to the Supreme Court. She will be the first Latina in US history to have a seat on the Supreme Court. Regardless of the issues/conflicts revolving around her nomination, it’s good to see our Country taking yet another step in having our country’s leadership more representative of the people who live in this country. Change can be good and this is a good change.

Technology for good or for ridiculous?

 

My guy friend today sent me a link to a site that was on his advertisement bar. I clicked on it not knowing what it was. Oh boy, when it  popped up I had to do a double take. I was in shock!! Really?? This is for real?? To get the full effect of this blog and the website, you need to look at the website: www.flexmini.com (WARNING: there is some pictures that aren’t appropriate for any kid under 10). It basically is this skirt that women can put on that will uses “FDA approved medical technology” to tighten and firm your butt and back thighs. All you have to do is use it 30 minutes a day! In more elegantly words, it basically “shakes” the fat off your butt and thighs. I remember a few years back they had the belt that you put on your stomach and it was suppose to tone your abs. This is definitely in the same genre. This site left me wondering…what’s next???

**Not to encourage anyone, but if someone feels a need and a desire to try this out, please let me know if it really works!

Community and Gran Torino

Last week I saw Gran Torino and it hit a chord with me. Without giving the movie away, it centered around an old man who finds his “true” family in a community that he last expected. This community was one he didn’t even want to be a part of but who accepted him for who he was better than his own family. It made me think about the community I live in. When picking where I was going to live, I picked my place out of convenience versus intentionality. In fact, I was pretty nervous moving into the “scary hood” of my neighborhood. Here I was, a single female, moving into the West side of Logan Square. I remember filling up my car at the gas station down the road from me and this guy who was filling up next to me goes, “so what are you doing in this part of the city?” I told him that I had just moved to the neighborhood. He then said, “Really? Why?” I told him how my friend lived in the neighborhood and she got me a deal in their building. He then went on for a few minutes telling me how surprised he was that I moved and that “you dont’ see people like me” around there. I left starting to wonder what I got myself into. My trepidation was even more affirmed when the first day I moved in, I was sitting in the courtyard wtih my friend when a guy pulled a gun 20 yards in front of us and started shooting at someone down the street. Naturally I began to put myself into a “self protect” mode of thinking. I tried to park as close as I could to my building, avoid eye contact with anyone I came into contact with, had my gate key in my hand ready to go as soon as I left my car, etc. I figured that being as inconspicuous as possible was the best form of safety. As I look back at what I did, it surprises me to a certain extent. I’m very community focused and all about building community. My boyfriend even says that I tie Everything to community. But here I was not even thinking about building up this community, in fact, I was avoiding it. But I wasn’t going to get off that easily. As I look back at the last year of living here, I realize that I’ve been given several opportunities to be a good neighbor and get to know my neighbors. Last summer, my neighbor on the corner with the big house had a block party and they invited me to come even though I had never really met them before. I had a previous event planned so I couldnt’ go but if I hadn’t, I’m sure I would have come up with some other “excuse” not to go. Then a couple weeks ago when it was frigid out, I was having trouble opening up my car door and the same neighbor from the big house on the corner came over from his car down the street to see if I needed help. I was able to get it open right as he approached me so I graciously thanked him and he was like “well if you ever need anything, you know where I live.” Later, I realized I didn’t even know his name and I hadn’t asked him for it. This guy, was being a better neighbor than I was.  I saw Gran Torino a few days later and it was like a slap in the face. This very neighborhood that I have lived in for a year and a half could very well be a family for me… I just haven’t opened myself up to that possibility. I had been given chances, but I let them go because I was too caught up in self preservation. I’m a giver not a receiver and this neighborhood is teaching me that the people in it have alot to offer and teach me, if I only let myself receive.

An ode to my colts…

I love my dear colts

even though they lost on a bad ending

I love my dear colts

even while my heart is  still mending

You started the season off bad

and made me quite mad 

But you picked it up fast

and became far from last

Peyton, your arm is amazing

and with it you kept winning

You were a team to beat

and picking up heat

Manning won MVP

and i shouted “Yippee”

This could be the year

we bring out the beer

And toast to the bling

of a super bowl ring

But it just wasn’t meant to be

as we all could well see

That overtime showing

saw our  08 season closing

No more cheer

til next year

Coach Dungy we love you

and we hope you don’t go

Stay with us again

and we’ll hopefully win

So until next year

I bid you adieu

My colts take a well deserved rest

and next year, we’ll be part of the best!

New Year- New Goals

Trying to be different, every year for the past year I’ve had New Year Themes versus New Years Goals. 2008 was “Live it up”, 2007 was “Leading Lady 2007″ (Line taken from the movie, “The Holiday”), 2006 was “Better luck Tomorrow”, etc. I say it was because I wanted to be different but it’s probably more of the fact that I knew I probably wouldn’t live out the Goals if I made any so a Theme is much easier to live by than specific goals. Well this year, I’m conforming to the rest of the society and having New Years Goals. I have 8 Goals in the hope of only completing 4. 50% isn’t bad though. Most people have only one or two goals and if they don’t complete them then that’s 100% failure right? So i’d rather have a 50% completion rate than 100% failure rate. Alright.. maybe I’m justifying my potential failure of not being able to complete all these goals.

1. Blog more frequently- CHECK!- i guess it’s only Jan. 2nd so we’ll see if the best of intentions pan out. I was reading my old xanga posts from a couple years back before I quit and I realized I was kind of funny and interesting…maybe I’ll seem more interesting if I go back to blogging.

2. Work out more (ok more like work out period)- this is ALWAYS a goal..but this year i’m making a list… and I’m a list person, so hopefully the need to cross it off this very public list will encourage me to do so. Random fact: When I was working retail at Gap, we learned that the biggest sales we got in January and February were in our Gap Body because all the females make the “lose weight” Goal for the new year and buy all these work out clothes to go along with their goal. Sadly those sales drop dramatically after February.

3. Explore and conquer Chicago- I’ve lived here 8 years and have yet to explore the very things that draw tourists here- things like the museums, architectural boat tour, the different festivals, different restraurants, etc.

4. Minimize and Organize- I love to collect things and the longer I stay in one place, the more I accumulate..so this year I am going to minimize my belongings and possessions. So look towards future blogs/facebook posts etc of me giving stuff away. One Woman’s junk is another person’s treasure! Whenever someone asks me the question “if your house is burning down and you can only grab one item what would it be?- it takes me forever because I’m mentally going through all that I own. Sadly I’d probably burn because I couldn’t decide… so in hopes of preventing that, I must minimize my belongings.

5. Rekindle my love of playing the Piano- I recently invested in a very nice keyboard and I need to make it worth it! I took lessons for 12+ years and recently realized how much I miss playing the piano and how relaxing it is.

6. Cook more/Eat healthier- I love to cook and don’t do it enough and end up eating out a lot more than I should. So this year- more cooking and cooking healthier meals.

7. BUDGET- such a dreaded word for me.. but one I must face. I always make one but sticking to it is another matter… so to help me, I got this handy dandy expense manager on my phone where i make budgets and each time I make a purchase I enter in the amount and catergory and it keeps track for me.

8. Read More- I love to read and always have a pile of books that I never get thru. This year though, I am going to read. In fact I may be posting my potential books so that if anyone wants to join in on my readings with me for discussion that would be awesome.

Lars and the Real Girl- defining Community

 

At the recommendation of someone in my DISCIPLE group, I watched Lars and the Real Girl. As she was explaining it, it didn’t seem to appealing- I mean who would want to watch a movie about a grown guy pretending a life size doll is his girlfriend? It sounded like some “freaky made for TV movie.”  Once I started watching it though, I was hooked. Not wanting to give away the movie to those who haven’t seen it, I wanted to comment on the Community aspect of it. This movie shows a community who embraces Lars and “the doll girlfriend” and treats them just like they would with anyone else that was part of the community, if not with more love and attention. Through this community, Lars is able to discover who he is and what he wants. It made me sit back and think about my community. Do I have a community? Do I embrace people for who they are and love them regardless of their difference and embrace their uniquenessess and even quirkiness? Do I accept and encourage my community? Regardless of whether you live in a small town, like the movie where everyone knows each other, or a large city like Chicago, everyone needs to have that type of community that is exemplified in the movie. It was a heartfelt movie and one that I would definately recommend seeing.

Adoptees- a race/culture of its own

Before Chicago, I didn’t think twice about what it meant to be adopted or how people perceived me. I was just me- Angela Nadine Zirk. The only instance I really felt it was when my parents forced me to go to Korean Culture Camp at Minnehaha Academy in Minneapolis, MN for 5 years. It was an evening camp designed to “asian-ify” adopted Koreans and their siblings. We had language class, music class, dance class, culture/history class, and Korean food. I have never felt more awkward or uncomfortable as I did in that setting.

In college, I still felt the same. All my friends were white…very white. Even the boy I seriously dated was white (100% swedish). Looking back, I wonder what his family thought about him dating someone who wasn’t white much less swedish. His whole family and extended family was swedish and very white. But I know they all loved me for who I was but still you wonder… It wasn’t something though that I thought about at the time. It was towards the end of my college years that I started to notice the change. It occured in my interactions outside of my college. 

Once I started to leave my college campus and explore chicago my junior year, is when I started to feel the differece.  It’s where I got a taste of how people saw me. Their first impression… “she’s asian.”  DOH! right?  But it’s not how I had been classified growing up. I was just another person in our small town. I was never picked on, made fun of, or felt different than my peers (who were all white). But here, I had numerous instances of being approached by asians (Korean, I’m guessing though I can’t tell the difference) who would start talking to me in Korean and I would have to tell them I didn’t understand. Which then resulted in them asking if I was Korean and I would say “yes, but I’m adopted.” To which they would all go “oh” and smile and then awkward silence followed. But then I would go to a Korean restraurant and they would ask me if I was Chinese. Asians can pick out different asian cultures pretty well but when it comes to me, I guess I don’t fit the norm of an “asian culture look.” I remember meeting with my pastor 6 months after my first day at NC3. One of the first things he asked me was what culture will I teach my kids. I was like … “huh?.” I never thought about it, but it seemed like I should just teach them what I grew up with and considered my culture which was my parents. But he said it should be something I think about. That started my first thinking “who am I.” and “what am I suppose to do with who I am?” I didn’t have any asian friends til I came to this church. It was something that is and still sometimes can be weird for me…to be in an all asian group. Our church offerred an asian american leadership class and a class for caucasion people only. I remember talking to the teacher of the white one. She said that I could be in it if I wanted to since culturally I was that… but that some people in the class would view it as a little weird. But then another person said I couldn’t be in it because I wasn’t white; that I needed to go to the asian one. Except with the asian one, I dont’ have any “asian” culture in me except my looks. It was that instance that first got me really frustrated about being adopted and how I really don’t fit in a group or if I do fit in a group that other people don’t think I belong in that group.

I am currently in a relationship with an asian guy. I never thought that would happen since every guy I’ve dated before has been white but I guess God had different plans in mind for me. Well, my background has become even more prevalent in this relationship. I feel like I’m interracially dating my own race!!!  It’s so weird. But things like language barrier with his parents has come up as a concern on both sides. Also just little things you could never think of has come up and made us realize that we have to be super good at communicating else things get mis-interpreted because of our cultural backgrounds. It got me thinking a little while ago that if I happen to marry an asian guy one day and have kids, how will they grow up? Will they be taught korean so they can converse with their grandparents and I’ll be left to wonder what is being said between them? Will they be confused by their parents- “parenting techniques” as we raise them up bi-culturally most likely? It’s something I wont know til it happens.

As more kids are being adopted from other countries and more interracial marriages resulting in more mixed children- culture/race isn’t so black and white. Children wont fit so nicely in a category. There will be asian-indian, black-asian, black-indian, white-black, white-asian, asian-native american, black-native american children and so on. Even some who will be a mixture of 3 or more races. How will these children grow up? Who will they identify with? Will they go thru some major indentity crisis? I think of adopted children who go thru identity crisis and I wonder if it will become even a bigger crisis as more races are intertwined and fused together. How will diversity look in the next 20, 40, 50 years? Instead of asian-american classes or whiteology classes will we have a class for adoptees or mixed races, etc?

 

Jersey Boys

This past Friday, the Boy took me out for a late birthday gift. We had dinner at Blue Water Grill downtown and then went off to see Jersey Boys -the story of Frankie Valli and the 4 seasons. It was quite the experience. We were in seats second row to the very back of the whole theatre. That’s what happens when I let the Boy be in charge ..but i didn’t mind.  Due to the story, the audience was quite “older”. People who actually went to the 4 season concerts when they were alive. The people behind us were quite the fans. They were singing along to the songs, repeating some of the script from American Bandstand word for word, etc. It was somewhat annoying but somewhat funny at the same time. It was a fun show. The singers were great, harmonies were amazing, and I recognized almost all of the songs. The night reminded me of why I love living in the city.